In this video from Simple Pickup, porn stars teach non-porn star women how to properly give a blow job by demonstrating on a popsicle (which gave me a brainfreeze the second they mentioned it).
Advice from the porn stars ranges from "make love to the cock in your mouth," to making your mouth look like you're "a clown at a carnival game," to a hot tip of trying to get his dick to the back of your throat and then to "stick your tongue out and lick the balls," which seems like something a specially trained circus performer does because holy crap.
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Other handy tips include getting your tonsils removed so "there'll be more room for dicks back there" and basically just hitting yourself in the face with his dick like it's a powder puff from an old-timey makeup compact.
Perhaps the most life-changing piece of advice I gleaned from this was that "guys love it when you kiss them on the dick," which porn star Dana Dearmond says is the reason why guys are "always making kissing noises outside of Home Depot at you."
I knew there was a next-level reason I loathed that, but also, good to know.
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