About a month ago, I wrote an essay about being a feminist and also liking it when men come on my face. No surprise: I got bashed by online haters. They were mostly men calling me a "slut," "whore," and other degrading terms — and for what? I was simply being open about my sexual desires.
Luckily, those comments didn't faze me because I have anything to feel ashamed of. I love sex and I'm not afraid to experiment outside the vanilla box.
Sexuality is still commonly viewed as something only men can openly enjoy and brag about while women are expected to keep quiet. Because of this, many women are still fearful of embracing and owning their sexuality. Well, I want to change that — starting with me.
Female sexual empowerment involves removing the shame from expressing one's sexuality. It's about accepting your sexual being. I am a single 21-year-old college female on a mission to de-stigmatize female sexuality. I love talking about, experimenting with, and, of course, having sex.
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I wasn't always like this. Before I starting having sex, I always assumed sex was with a boyfriend, in missionary, with candles lit and romantic music playing in the background. That was my idea of what sex would be like, but that hasn't ever happened for me and probably won't (those candles scream fire hazard).
Instead, my sexual experiences have gone down a different path. I've had many one-night stands, walks of fame, and mysterious bruises resulting from the things I like. At first I was shy about sharing the details of my sexual escapades with anyone, but as time went on I realized these were my fun and quirky personal experiences. Why not share them with my closet girlfriends?
I am particularly vocal about what I like sexually while I'm in the bedroom. When I'm with a new sexual partner, he is not going to assume that I like my hair pulled in doggy, my ass slapped, and my arms pinned above my head. I have to tell him, which I always do. Ladies, remember: You are having sex so that you can come, not just him. Be vocal about what you want.
Regardless of the people who judge me for being open about my sexuality, I will continue to embrace all of my experiences whether people approve with them or not. Also, to those men who called me a "slut" because of my openness about my sexual desires, I don't care what you think. I'm here to reclaim what belongs to me. I will continue to freely express my sexual preferences because I think women need to be more open about it. Women should have the same bragging rights as men if they want, and should not be afraid of society's backlash.
Labeling me strictly based on my sexuality is also an insult because I am way more than just that. I am a strong, independent, driven young woman who has many career goals that I want to achieve. I will continue to have, experiment with, and talk about sex without feeling ashamed, because that is what I enjoy. More women should feel free to share their sexuality with the world. What harm does that do anyone?
I am not a slut, a whore, a skank, or whatever you want to call me to put me down. I have sex when I feel a connection with someone and there is an attraction between us. This is not something I will feel bad about. I am a sexual empowered woman, and that is totally fine with me.
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