I did it. I caved. I was weak and money-stressed and told Nicole that I would go back to work for her. She hugged me when I said yes. It wasn't a pleasant experience, her hard fake boobs crammed to my chest while she breathed martini breath in my ear. The guy next to us stared hopefully as if we might start making out. I gently separated from her and agreed to be at the studio lot on Monday morning at 8. I should have said 9. My week of unemployment had gotten me spoiled on sleeping in late.
I found Carter alone, thank god, standing in front of a painting, a bored look on his face. I asked if he was ready to go, and he all but swooped me into his arms and carried me out.
I was quiet on the ride home and he asked what was wrong. Is it bad that I was embarrassed to tell him? That's the sign of a bad decision, right? When I told him, it was full of explanations and justifications, my mouth rattling on like an idiot. He said nothing and brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. I hiked up my dress and straddled his lap, prompting our cabbie to instantly hit the brakes and let out a string of heavily accented English of which I understood to mean: No sex in the cab. Carter made a sad face and I gave him a kiss before I climbed back off, his arm coming around my shoulder and hugging me to him.
MORE FROM BEDROOM BLOG
20 articles
"Are you disappointed in me?" I looked up at him when I asked the question, my nose brushing against his freshly shaved jaw.
"Disappointed?" he looked down, brushing a kiss over my lips before he answered. "No, Chloe. We're all surviving in this city. We do what we have to do, and that's what you did."
I looked forward. I guess my real motivation, money, had been clear despite all my rambling justifications. I thought of what Vic would have said. Vic would have laughed off the moral issue and asked what made me happy, whether it was working for her or not. And then he'd have pushed me in the direction of happiness and gone behind my back and paid my next three years worth of bills. Because that's all his life is. Happiness. And arranging things so he can minimize the Time Spent Listening To Chloe's Problems. I don't live in that fairy tale anymore. And Carter was right. This is the real world and in the real world, I needed to pay my rent. I wondered, as I chewed on my bottom lip, how many prostitutes used the same justification argument.
"Stop worrying about it." Carter tugged on my shoulder, his mouth gentle against the top of my head.
"OK." I looked out the window. I hate that I had just thought about Vic. Compared him to Carter when there was really no comparison at all.
The cab stopped at our building and Carter opened the door, holding out a hand for me.
0 comments:
Post a Comment