OK, if a guy really, really likes you, none of these things are going to totally kill your chances. But the vast majority of the time, these are moves that ladies insist on doing because they think they're endearing, and guys hate because they're confusing. Think of these moves as the flirting equivalent of particle acceleration. Sure, you could do awesome stuff with it, or you could create a black hole so massive it swallows the entire planet.
1. Using a baby voice. The problem here is twofold: Beyond it being annoying, it insinuates that we find babies sexually attractive. Please don't do this under any circumstance.
2. Taking our hats and wearing them. What you think of as "teasingly grabbing our hat and wearing it" is what we think of as "stealing our shit." Yes, this can be super cute if we know you. If we don't know you, you're just someone at a bar taking things from us.
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3. Obviously acting dumb as a way of initiating conversation. When you play dumb in the hopes that we'll, say, stop to help you figure out a parking meter, you run the risk of us actually thinking you don't know how a parking meter works. And do you really want to date someone who is OK with dating someone who actually doesn't know how a parking meter works? Think about it.
4. Playing hard to get. Hitting on someone is awkward enough as it is. Don't send us mixed signals and make us chase you and then eventually give up and then suddenly you're interested again. It's exhausting.
5. Flipping your hair constantly. It looks like you have a bee stuck in your hair. A well-timed hair flip can be hot, but doing it constantly just makes us think you have a weird tic.
6. Trying to make us jealous. Will you succeed at making us jealous if you flirt with another guy at the bar? Yes. Will you also start a fight or just make us not want to talk to you? Probably. Who likes feeling jealous?
7. Faking a common interest. It's fine if you don't know anything about our hobbies, but don't lie your way through an entire conversation about whether or not Odell Beckham Jr. would be better off on a team other than the Giants. It obviously going to come out that you're lying, and then we'll just think of you as "that weird, lying girl."
8. Forcing us to decode emoji texts. The love hearts and smiley faces work. We get those. But what does the palm tree, monkey, and lady getting a head massage have to do with anything? And then there are 90 more characters. Is this gibberish? Is it an elaborate version of a conversation-ender like "haha" or "k"? We shouldn't have to spend an hour figuring this out.
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